no. you can't hotbox the world.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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