New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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