Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
