i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
