Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
