I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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