why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
