Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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