Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
