Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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