therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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