I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
