the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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