the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
