lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
