so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pants are for mortals
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
