She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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