listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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