u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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