Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
