She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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