Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
