God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
