Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
