Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
