TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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