Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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