we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
God, I missed his penis.
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