just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
