and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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