can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
