i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
