First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
