Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
