you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
