next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
