my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
