JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
