That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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