She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
