im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
