Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
