so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
