dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
