there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
