I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
