Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
