YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
