We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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