this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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